BEYOND BOUNDARIES

The Haunting of Old Versions of Me

Grief doesn’t just take people from you - it changes the way you see the world. It sharpens your awareness, exposes hidden patterns, and teaches lessons that can’t be ignored. In this space, I reflect on relationships, loss, and emotional boundaries with clarity.

Grief didn’t just change how I view loss - It changed how I view people. When you start healing, your lens sharpens. You begin to notice who supports you from a place of love, and who only shows up when it’s convenient. Some friendships deepen through honesty; others quietly fade when you stop playing the versions of yourself that made others comfortable.

Growth has a strange way of unsettling those who knew you before it. They might sense your shift but not understand it. They might interpret your calm as distance, or your boundaries as detachment - when really, its just you protecting your peace. What they don’t see is that grief rewires you; it teaches you to value peace over proximity, and energy over history.

The more distance I create from certain behaviours, the more clearly I see the pattern behind them. Different faces, same energy. Some people retreat without a word, others linger through moments that feel slightly off - small shifts in tone or presence that say more than words ever could. For a long time, I tried to make sense of it all, thinking maybe I’d done something wrong. But now I understand - their reactions were never really about me. They reflected what they couldn’t face within themselves.

Grief has a way of revealing character - not just in ourselves, but in those around us. It brings subtle shifts to light, showing how each person copes in their own way. Seeing this reminded me how vital empathy and boundaries are when navigating loss - for myself and others.

There are parts of us that linger long after we’ve moved on - versions that once tolerated too much, dimmed too easily, or sought validation in places that couldn’t hold it. Sometimes, grief doesn’t come from losing people - it comes from losing those parts of ourselves. The ones that tried so hard to belong, even when belonging mean’t self betrayal. But letting them go is what makes space for who we are now - grounded, aware, and unwilling to live half-present in our own lives.

Going beyond boundaries isn’t about closing off or holding grudges. It’s about knowing when something disturbs your peace, even slightly, and refusing to shrink to make it comfortable for someone else. It’s choosing awareness over reaction, calm over chaos.

I no longer chase connections that costs me clarity. I no longer explain myself to be understood by those committed to misunderstanding. And I no longer carry behaviour that isn’t mine to carry. Clarity is healing - and sometimes, that’s what “beyond boundaries” really means.

Grief isn’t just about loss - it’s about learning, observing, and protecting your peace. It teaches you to honour your growth, to listen to the quiet within, and choose relationships that nourish rather than drain. Through grief, you begin to see yourself more clearly - not through the lens of who you were, but who you’ve become.

Beyond boundaries isn’t just a phrase - it’s the feeling of finally coming home to yourself.

Seven & Rising

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Disclaimer: Everything I share here comes from my own journey and perspective.